Bad Dreams
by Alatariel4488
Summary: Five times Rose woke up from a nightmare and the Doctor was there to comfort her, and one time he wasn't.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Each chapter of this story is written about or after an episode from seasons 1 and 2 of Doctor Who. This first chapter takes place after Father's Day. I have all of the chapters written and ready to post, so I will be posting them depending on the response that I get. So let me know what you think! And who's excited for a new episode tomorrow!? EEEP!

Chapter 1

The first time Rose had a bad dream onboard the TARDIS, she woke up crying.

In her dream she had been too late. She had run with all her might, but she seemed to be moving through jelly because no matter how hard she pushed herself forward, she couldn't get to him. Her dad had died on that street alone, again, with no one to hold his hand.

It wasn't the first time a bad dream had brought her to tears in her sleep, but it was the first time that she couldn't stop crying even after she realized it had been a dream. Because it wasn't just a dream. It was true, it had happened. And the actual turn of events was almost worse than the dream alternative. She had held her dad in her arms while he died. She had watched him die, in her arms. And suddenly, she felt so alone.

She choked on a sob and rolled over onto her pillow to muffle the sounds she could no longer hold back. Her loneliness seeped out of her along with her tears and closed in on her under the sheets. She didn't hear the knock on her door, or the creak it made when the Doctor came in.

As he eased himself into the room he called her name softly.

"Rose?" When his eyes fell on her he felt his hearts melt. He had heard her soft sobs through the walls of the console room, he suspected thanks to the TARDIS, and made his way to her room to make sure she was all right. Obviously, his fears had been right. She looked so defeated, and he moved forward on instinct to comfort her.

At the sound of his voice, she had stilled slightly but her face was still buried in her pillows. He walked over to the edge of her bed and laid a gentle hand on her shaking shoulders. At his touch Rose forced herself to swallow the tears and rolled over and sat up slowly. His hand never left her arm as she tried to take deep breaths and look in his eyes. He didn't say anything, just held her arm and gazed down at her with comfort and understanding in his eyes.

She took in a deep shuddering breath and tried to let it out slowly, but it came out in a sob that made her shoulders crumple for a moment. She tried again, with the same result, and a third time. But this time, when her breath refused to exit her body in anything but a sob, she gave out. She crumpled into the Doctor's waiting arms and cried.

As soon as she let go, there was no going back. Her cries made ugly noises that she didn't care about and snot dripped out of her nose that she didn't notice. Her whole upper body shook and twisted with the ebbing and flowing of her breaths and emotions. And he held her. His arms tightened around her and chased away the loneliness, but they couldn't change what had happened. But still, Rose felt a comfort from them that rivaled even her mother's arms after a bad day. Because he understood. The Doctor knew what she had just gone through, and somehow she was sure that he knew exactly how she felt. So even as she cried she felt the weight of her grief and pain being eased from off of her shoulders by his strong embrace.

The Doctor sat on the edge of her bed and held her in his arms while she cried. Sometimes he would rock her slightly and move his hand to her head to hold her still. Most of the time he would rub her back lightly and every now and then he would tighten his hold on her when a particularly violent seizure shook her frame. But most importantly, he was there and he stayed.

Eventually, she cried herself into exhaustion and though the tears still fell, albeit more slowly, her body no longer had the energy to do anything other than shake from the built up tension in her muscles. And still he held her. She was curled up into his body with her arms against his chest and her head lying limply under his chin. His embrace wrapped around her back where one arm braced and cradled her shoulders and the other steadied her by her waist.

Rose breathed slowly, though her breath still caught every few seconds with those uncontrollable gasps and sighs that follow in the wake of a genuine cry. The Doctor's body gave off a warmth that soothed her by simply confirming the fact that he was there. She very slowly began to release the iron grip that held her body. She had a headache from squinting her eyes and scrunching her face and her shoulders ached from her sobs. But the Doctor's embrace was warm and steadying and soon her aching heart was dulled and her sore body relaxed. He never wavered or pulled away in the slightest and Rose finally melted completely into the comfort and support of his embrace. Her mind stopped racing with guilt and sadness and instead her thoughts rested only on his presence. She listened to the beat of his hearts against her head, and counted each breath that he let out on her hair. Her shaking subsided and her breathing slowly but steadily evened out. And she fell back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** This chapter takes place after New Earth.

Chapter 2

The second time Rose had a bad dream onboard the TARDIS, it hurt.

Her head had been aching even before she went to bed. She had hoped that she would be able to sleep it off, but that clearly had not been the right idea. Nothing was right. Everything was wrong. But she didn't know why or what or who. It was so confusing it hurt, and it didn't help the steadily increasing physical pain she felt inside her head. It wasn't a normal headache. She could tell because it wasn't concentrated to one area of her head, instead it enveloped her whole mind.

As the pain grew so did her awareness that she was dreaming and that something was trying to push its way through the haze of utter confusion that enveloped her. She felt its presence grow larger and larger until it felt like her head was going to explode from its size.

In the console room, the Doctor looked up from his fiddling when he heard a noise. He listened intently until he heard it again: a tiny whimper full of pain. He stood up and made his way to Rose's room briskly, all the while the whimpers were growing louder and closer together.

Just when Rose felt like her whole body would burst from the pressure inside her head something tore at her and she screamed in pain as the presence in her mind ripped a hole through her mind and came tearing out.

The Doctor stood outside Rose's room. He had tried knocking but there had been no response. Rose wasn't whimpering anymore, she had gone quiet, and he didn't want to disturb her if whatever had been bothering her had faded away. But then suddenly, she screamed, and his spine turned to ice even as he rushed into her room calling her name.

Everything faded out, all the confusion and distractions disappeared in the wake of the ripping pain in her mind and she collapsed, praying that she would lose consciousness to escape the pain even though she knew she was already asleep. But almost as quickly as it had ripped through her mind the form escaped from the crack and healed it behind itself.

And then she recognized what it was, and she gasped in fear. She had thought it was gone. The Doctor had taken the power out of her, but apparently some part of it had survived and was now fighting for presence fiercely. The confusion returned, but this time it was accompanied by a feeling that her mind was infinitely expanded and the expanse scared her. She cried out in confusion and fear.

"Doctor!" The Doctor's hands moved from shaking Rose's shoulders to her head and he cradled it desperately. Her face was contorted in pain, and her body was convulsing violently. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut and now she had started calling his name in between her frantic gasps for air.

"Rose! Rose, wake up! Wake up! Come on, Rose. Rose!"

Everything swirled around her at incredible speed. Everything. Memories, some from only days ago and other ones she didn't even know she still had, names, faces, information, tastes, touches, and smells. Everything swirled around her all at once and drowned her. All she could do was screw her eyes closed and squeeze her head between her hands in an attempt to block it all out as she called the Doctor's name.

The Doctor was beginning to panic. He couldn't get her awake, she just wouldn't wake up. He stayed calm though, knowing that if he was scared, then Rose would be terrified. He had to wake her up. He couldn't stand to see her in so much pain, so he did the only thing he could think of that he had left. He called her name one last time before he repositioned his hands gently on both sides of her head, fingers on her temples, and closed his eyes.

Through the haze, Rose felt something else seep through and call to her. It was familiar but she couldn't focus on it. It was still distant and remote compared to the torment and pain consuming her. But it grew quickly, and within moments she recognized the Doctor's voice calling to her softly but urgently, and felt the strength that she needed to wretch herself out of her dream wash over her.

Rose let out one last gut wrenching cry and then, with a violent gasp, her eyes burst open and she bolted upright in her bed. The Doctor jumped back with her but kept his hands on her head in a firm but not rough hold. Rose's eyes shrunk and then dilated and she looked around but her stare went right through the Doctor who was holding her head so that her face was right in front of his own.

"Rose! Breathe! Breathe, just breathe," he coaxed as her breath came in out of control, painful breaths. Another stab of pain made her seize up and screw her eyes shut with another cry.

"Rose! Look at me," the Doctor readjusted his grip on her head and forced her chin back up so she was facing him. "Look at me," he repeated firmly but gently. Rose's hands came up to his own and grasped them tightly. He shifted them again thinking that he was hurting her but she only tightened her grip on them as she finally took a long breath. "Rose, open your eyes. Look at me."

The creases in her forehead relaxed and her eyes opened a fraction, but she inhaled sharply and closed them again.

"My head… It hurts," she breathed.

"It's the after effects of nearly being compressed to death by Cassandra," the Doctor spit out bitterly, but then his voice softened. "I'm sorry Rose, I'm so sorry. But please, open your eyes. Just look at me. Please."

Rose's head was pounding and she gripped the Doctor's hands even tighter, desperately trying to fight the pain somehow. She forced herself to open her eyes and was met with the sight of the Doctor kneeling down in front of her, staring at her intensely. Seeing his face calmed her and she managed to inhale deeply, and let it out in a long, shaking breath. She focused her attention on him and his hands that were gripping her head. It was then that she noticed she was trembling.

"You're alright. The pain will stop in just a moment. Your brain was trying to fight its way back out from the corner where it had been shoved, breaking walls along the way. It's going to hurt. But you're ok now. Just breathe. Just keep breathing and looking at me. You'll be fine."

Rose's eyes were frantic and her breathing was still quick and forced, but even as the Doctor soothed her she felt the pain easing away to be replaced with pure exhaustion. Her vice-like grip on his hands loosened and she suddenly practically fell into the Doctor's arms with a tight hug which the Doctor returned full force.

She stayed like that for a while, clinging to him and forcing herself to breathe deeply now that she didn't feel like her chest would rip apart with every intake of breath. A while later the Doctor pulled her back and took her face in his hands again, but this time it was a gentle comfort rather than a restraining hold.

"Are you ok?" he asked, searching her face intently.

"No," Rose replied honestly with a hoarse and shaky voice. "But much better than…before."

"Good," he replied and pulled her back into a more gentle hug.

"Doctor," Rose said, sounding hesitant and frightened.

"It's over Rose. It won't happen again, I promise," he assured her stroking her hair.

"No, that not it," she said, though she was relieved to hear that the ordeal was over.

"What is it?" the Doctor said as he pulled her back. He searched her face once more and found hesitance and fear bleeding through. His expression became even more worried, if that were possible at this point. Rose hesitated. "Rose, tell me. What is it?"

Rose was about to tell the Doctor about Bad Wolf and how it had figured into her dream and her pain, but just as she was opening her mouth to tell him, she talked herself out of it and said instead, "Stay?"

The Doctor looked relieved and pulled her back into a hug once more. "Of course," he replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** This chapter is after The Idiot's Lantern. Let me know what you think please :)

Chapter 3

The third time Rose had a bad dream onboard the TARDIS, there was nothing.

One moment she was lying in bed trying to get some well needed rest and the next she was back in the horrible pit that had been the Wire. She panicked instantly. It wasn't possible. The Doctor had stopped it, he had taped over it with Rose standing right there. But somehow it had gotten out and Rose was trapped again. Trapped in the nothing.

She couldn't move. She was paralyzed because there was simply nothing there to move. Nothing that she could feel. No limbs, no head, no breath, not even the beat of her heart. She was terrified, but she couldn't even feel her stomach clench because of it. All she could do was think and panic.

The Doctor was busy taping and re-taping over the VCR that once contained the Wire. He knew that he didn't need to keep taping over it, but he couldn't stop. That thing had taken Rose away from him. He pushed the tape button for the eighth time with far more force than was necessary, his anger building again. It had stolen her face, her soul, everything unique and precious about her.

Nine. Ten.

Her smile, gone. Her beautiful smile with her tongue poking out under the top teeth that stuck out too far. He loved that smile. He couldn't help but smile back or give in whenever he saw that smile.

Eleven.

His finger was getting sore but he barely registered it. Her eyes, stolen. Those eyes that sparkled every time they looked out on a new planet, and bled sadness and pity for every being they met that earned her sympathy, no matter who or what they were. Even if they were a Dalek. Her eyes were so young and so innocent, so oblivious to the evils of the world. He loved to be able to look in her eyes and forget everything that weighed on his shoulders and simply laugh and smile. All of it gone, stolen by a merciless monster only interested in selfish hunger.

Gone. Everything that he loved… His hand froze on its way to the button again.

Whether hours, minutes or days had passed, she couldn't tell. All she knew was that she was trapped in the nothing and that she would be forever. Her thoughts kept going to the Doctor. He had saved her last time, but she was positive that it hadn't been this long before. There was only one explanation. The Doctor wasn't coming to save her. She couldn't even feel her breathing hitch like she knew it should when she lost all hope and despaired. He was moving on from her. Seeing Sarah Jane had reminded him that he always said goodbye and that was what he had done. It didn't matter what he claimed. She knew the truth, right now more than ever, in this pit of complete loneliness. He didn't care about her the way she cared about him, and he never would. And in that moment, the nothing was forgotten to be replaced by the sound of her heart breaking.

The Doctor sat down heavily on the console chair and dropped his head in his hands. He rubbed his face slowly and then ran his hands through his hair. He never would have admitted it to her, but seeing Rose with no face had terrified him. Or more accurately, he corrected himself, his reaction terrified him.

He rubbed at his eyes. He had always been protective of his friends, but this time it had been more than that. He had been ready to destroy anything and anyone who dared get in his way. He hadn't even given the Wire a choice to stop before he destroyed it. His hands fell away from his face at that realization. Even at his worst moments, he always gave them a choice, and it hadn't even crossed his mind. He stared straight ahead with a face that was wiped blank.

When Rose opened her eyes, she didn't realize right away that she was awake. The darkness of her bedroom translated into the nothing in her still half-dream awareness. But she slowly started to realize that she could feel again. Her heart beat steadily in her chest and her limbs ached from being in the same position for too long. After a few more minutes her brain started catching up and she remembered the despair that had accompanied her dream. She rolled over onto her back slowly and took a deep breath. She worked on shaking off the lingering over-exaggerated emotions of nightmares. Some of the things that had led to her despair were just ridiculous. For starters, there was no way the Doctor wouldn't have saved her if it had been real. He would always save her, even if he was upset with her, he had always come and he always would come. Of that she was positive and always would be.

But she couldn't shake off the truths that had been entangled within the obscene. Meeting Sarah Jane had shaken her but his assurance that he wasn't going to leave her had almost been enough to convince her that she was different. But then, the whole affair with Madame de Pompadour had happened so soon afterwards. She had felt so abandoned and alone even if Mickey had been right there with her. The past few weeks she had managed to forget about the whole ordeal and put aside her dark thoughts in favor of simply going on as if nothing had happened. They were both certainly very good at that. But her dream had awoken the buried insecurities and now, no matter how hard she tried to stop herself, she couldn't stop thinking about it all.

There was no denying it, the Doctor realized, he did more than care for Rose Tyler. He wouldn't have reacted the way he did if he simply cared. There was undeniably something more, and that had him even more terrified. Suddenly, seemingly of its own accord, the image of her standing in that warehouse with no face flew into his mind and he couldn't shake it away. He closed his eyes and tried to picture her face and then panicked when he couldn't see anything besides that blank slate, dressed in her clothes, standing in front of him. A sudden need to see her overwhelmed him and he stood up slowly and made his way to her room.

She understood why he always moved on, why he never looked back. She couldn't imagine being in his place. Could she bear to watch everyone she cared about grow old and die while she stayed young? Yes, she realized, she could and would do anything for the Doctor. But the question was, would he do the same for her? And no matter how many times she rolled it around in her head and tried to talk herself out of it, she always came to the same answer: she didn't know. And that, to her, was answer enough. A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek onto the bed. She wiped it away with her hand, frowning at herself for being so emotional. She felt so stupid. She should have known better than to fall in love with him. It wasn't fair to expect him to care about her in that way, but she had fallen in love with him, before she even realized what was happening.

Something caught her eye and she sat up slowly to look at her door. A shadow passed over the space between her door and the floor and her mind went blank when it stopped directly in front of it. There was soft knock, and she suddenly realized that she desperately wanted the Doctor to comfort her like he had those few times before,

"Come in," she said nervously. She still needed him, even though he was the very reason her heart was breaking, she needed him to chase away the dream.

She pulled the covers back and sat on top of them as the door opened and he poked his head into her room.

"Hey," she said, forcing a smile as she looked over at him.

"Hello," he replied stepping further into her room. When he noticed her strained smile he moved towards her, "You alright?"

Rose hesitated for a moment before replying, then her smile twisted into a bitter one, "I'm always alright."

The Doctor felt the sting of those words more than she intended and he ducked his head even as he moved to sit down next to her on the bed. Rose was stared straight ahead, pointedly avoiding his gaze. After a while he forced himself to stop staring at her face and turned instead to the same wall that Rose was looking at. Rose took in a deep breath and dropped her head onto her chest, and the Doctor couldn't stand to see her like that. His hand moved on instinct and found hers.

Rose squeezed his hand back and leaned into his shoulder, resting her head beneath his chin.

"Rose, what's wrong?" he asked as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and stared down at the top her head.

Rose took a deep breath before replying, "I had a nightmare," she said slowly.

"I'm sorry," he replied, the guilt he felt bleeding through.

"S'okay. Not your fault," she replied softly, trying to convince herself as much as him with her words. He was there, after all, and that was all that mattered. Right now, he was here, and she felt safe.

The Doctor put his other arm around her and pulled her closer and Rose curled into him. And soon enough they both knew that everything would be alright, somehow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** This chapter takes place shortly after The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit. Thank you for your kind reviews! They are what motivate me to keep postíng :)

Chapter 4

The fourth time Rose had a bad dream onboard the TARDIS, it didn't stop at the fourth, they kept going.

The Doctor said that technically they were night terrors, which is why they were so much worse than all the other bad dreams she had ever had. Something about her body being in REM instead of NREM so it wasn't prepared for a nightmare, or was it the other way around? At this point she could barely keep herself upright on her feet, let alone wrap her mind around the science behind her dreams.

She hadn't had a proper night sleep in almost a full week now. Ever since Krop Tor, the same dream every time she tried to get some rest. The first night she had been woken up by the Doctor shaking her fiercely and calling her name. After that, it hadn't been so easy.

The second night he had tried and failed to wake her up for half an hour. And when she finally did wake up, it was with one last heart-rending scream that sent her flying up and into his arms as she descended into hysterics that lasted another ten minutes. He couldn't get her to stop no matter what he said, so he just held her tight against his chest and did everything he could to be as comforting and calming as possible until she finally wore herself out of it.

The third night Rose was too scared to go to sleep alone but too tired to stay awake, so she fell asleep in his arms. Unfortunately, that hadn't stopped the dream from reoccurring. He felt her stiffen against his side barely an hour after she had fallen asleep. He tried waking her up before the dream got worse but his efforts were pointless. It was practically impossible to wake someone up when they were in their NREM sleep cycle, so when he saw her worsening and heading towards the screams and thrashing he gave up on waking her up and just pulled her into his body as tightly as he could and held on as if her life depended on it while she cried out his name and sobbed her heart out. He screwed his eyes shut and tried to keep from cringing every time she called his name and he couldn't help her.

The fourth night Rose refused to go to sleep.

"Rose, you have to sleep! You've had less than ten hours of actual sleep in the past three days. You can't keep going like this."

"No. I won't, I'm fine. Let's just go somewhere else," she forced a smile. "Save another planet, yeah?" she danced away from him, but it was a clear move of fear trying to be disguised as playfulness.

"Rose, stop it. You're being ridiculous. You need sleep." He followed her and gently grabbed her shoulders, begging her to listen to him.

"Doctor I can't," she replied, her smile faltering.

"Rose – "

"No! I CAN'T! Don't you understand?" He reeled at the distress in her eyes. "I would love to get some _rest_ ," the word spilled out of her mouth like a prayer but it seemed to spark something inside of her and she spiraled out of control quickly. "I would LOVE to be able to close my eyes without seeing that THING, but I CAN'T." There were lines of desperation across her face now, and he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not your fault," she said, pulling back with a deep breath that was very forceful and wiped her face. "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired." The Doctor studied her carefully as she lowered herself down onto the console chair wearily. "You're right. I can't keep going on like this. But Doctor," and when she lifted up her eyes to look at him her fear nearly broke his heart. "I'm so scared," she said, her voice breaking. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his side.

"It's alright Rose. I'm right here." He stroked her hair as her breath shuddered beneath his arms.

"That's just it though. You're not there," she started softly. The Doctor started rubbing her gently, trying to soothe her. "In my dream," she went on. "You're gone, down in that stupid pit with that horrible Beast and I'm stuck on that ship, and you're dying and I… I can't... Do. Anything." Rose's shoulders crumpled with those last words with a barely restrained sob and she inhaled sharply several times, trying not to cry. The Doctor just pulled her closer and shushed into her hair while he processed her words. She hadn't told him anything about her dream until now, and though he had figured it was somehow related to the Beast he hadn't known until now that her true distress came from worrying about him.

Despite his best efforts, Rose didn't sleep much again that night.

The next day they were in the process of running away from some very upset half-lizard, half-snake mothers when the Doctor reached back to grab her hand and grabbed air instead. He turned to see her running behind him, struggling to keep up and tripping over her own feet. The mums were right on her tail. He ran back to her and managed to delay the creatures long enough for her to regain her footing and get a head start, but it was still a close race back to the TARDIS. He practically had to drag her behind him and she tripped so often that he almost resorted to carrying her over his shoulder. When they reached the TARDIS she collapsed on the floor, breathing much too heavily.

"Rose?"

"'S ok," she managed between breaths. "I'm alright." She tried to push herself up but as soon as she stood up she swayed forward and began blinking heavily. The Doctor caught her right as she was about to collapse onto the hard floor.

"Rose," he repeated, and gently guided her to the floor.

"Oough," she groaned, blinking slowly and heavily. "That didn't go too good. I think I sat up too fast, I think. Sorry…" her eyes finally focused on him correctly.

"We have to do something about this. That was too close, you could have been killed," he helped her stand up again as he talked, but she leaned heavily on him

"Yeah," she nodded slowly.

"I need to do some scans to make sure nothing else is wrong and then we can figure out where to go from there."

After a moment of composing herself, Rose nodded slowly before adding, "Can I just call my mum first?"

"Of course," he led her over to the chairs, not trusting her body to carry her on its own. "You do that and I'll be right back. Gotta go get some things."

"Kay," she smiled and took out her mobile, dialing her mum's number as the Doctor headed towards the infirmary.

"Hello?" she heard her mum pick up.

"Mum? It's me."

"Rose? Oh my God, Rose. Are you ok? Where are you? When are you coming back?"

"Mum, _mum_! I'm fine, I'm alright. We're in the TARDIS."

"Oh Rose, I miss you sweetheart."

"I miss you too mum," a slow smile spread over her lips.

"When are you coming back, darling?" This time it was an honest question instead of a mindless barrage of speech. Rose slumped when she heard it. She did miss her mum, now more than ever, but she couldn't go visit her looking like this. She'd never hear the end of it. But she couldn't leave her mum like that, she promised herself to make the Doctor take her for a visit as soon as they had cleared this mess up.

"Soon, mum. Soon. I'll make the Doctor take me home for a visit quick as I can. But I've got to go now, just called to say hello" she added noticing the Doctor come back into the console room, his hands full of strange looking devices.

"Oh, alright sweetheart, you take care, you hear?"

"Yeah mum, I will."

"I'll see you soon."

"Yeah."

"Alright, be careful."

"I will, bye Mum."

"Bye."

She hung up and put her mobile back in her pocket as the Doctor walked over to her and gave her a smile.

"How is Jackie?"

"Same as ever, worried, crazy, worried crazy," she smiled.

The Doctor was relieved to see her looking slightly normal, but he didn't sway from his purpose. He set his things down on the floor and picked a scanner up before raising it along with his eyebrows, silently asking permission to proceed. Rose nodded. "Hold still."

She did as she was told, fidgeting between scans but cooperating with every order from the Doctor. Though the absence of her usual playful banter worried him far more than the results from all of his scans.

"Right then! All done," he grinned widely at her and she grinned back, albeit weakly.

"So?"

"SO! You are going to have a great night's sleep tonight. I can't find anything wrong with you other than a simple lack of energy, or rest. So, simple solution. All you need is sleep and you should be perfectly alright." When he saw the dubious look on her face he raised his hands and continued. "I know, I know. I'm not stupid. Just take… these…," he mumbled while digging through his pockets. "AH! Here they are." His gaze turned serious again. "Just one should knock you out for the night, give you a well needed night of _peaceful_ sleep."

"So it's a sleeping pill?"

"Weell… not really, it's far more complicated than that. More like a…um, mixture of certain stimulating and relaxing hormones that-" he trailed off at the blank look on her face. "Yeah, a sleeping pill."

"Ok," she smiled at his techno-babble. "So, can I take it now?"

"Yeah," he smiled and whirled around to grab a glass of water from where he had set it on the ground earlier and handed it to her.

Two hours later, he was cursing himself violently for his stupidity and muttering pained apologies to Rose as she screamed and thrashed in his arms. How could he have been so stupid? Rose didn't wake up for another six hours. She dreamed the whole time.

The sixth night he couldn't even get her to go to her room, and he knew from the look in her eyes that any efforts to change her mind were pointless. So, he gave in and took her to a small planet, across the universe from Earth where they spent the night and most of the next day watching a traditional play that played out in real time. But eventually, she insisted on leaving, he suspected because she had started nodding off in the dark theater.

Once they were back in the TARDIS and safely inside the vortex he turned to her with his emotions written plainly on his face. He didn't even try to hide his guilt.

"Rose, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, Doctor," she smiled gently at him. "How many times are you going to apologize for something that's not your fault?"

"At least once more, because the last time it was my fault. I'm sorry, Rose."

Rose just shook her head. "I just want to get some sleep," she said looking him in the eye gently. The Doctor looked at her. The way her shoulders sagged ever so slightly, he could tell she was trying to be tough, but the dark circles under her eyes gave away just how exhausted she was. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at her.

"There is one more thing we could try," he said slowly.

"What is it?" Rose's voice rose with hope.

"I can do this…thing," he hesitated.

"What kind of thing? A Time Lord thing?" she said tilting her head to the side like she did whenever she was thinking hard. The Doctor smiled proudly. Even running on ridiculously low levels of sleep, his Rose was still brilliant.

"Yeeah, a Time Lord thing. I can… get inside your head, in a way. God, that makes it sound so awful," he grimaced in frustration and rubbed his neck.

"And it'll make my nightmares go away?" He looked up at her again, searching her eyes. They were asking him to tell the truth.

"Yes. I can take your nightmares away, put up barriers around that part of your brain and put you to sleep."

"Well, why haven't you done it already?" she asked, not accusingly, just genuinely curious. He smiled internally. Rose. She always trusted him, no matter what. He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Because… it involves getting inside your head. I didn't want to just… barge in like that without asking your permission. I seem to recall you being quite upset about that kind of thing, you know. When I told you about the TARDIS." To his surprise, Rose started laughing. "What?" he asked, very confused. "What!?" he repeated again when her giggles only grew. He was beginning to worry about her sanity when she suddenly reigned herself in with a deep breath and took slow steps towards him, until she was standing very close to him.

"Do it," she said softly. "I give you my permission," she smiled up at him and he smiled back. There was complete and utter trust in her eyes.

"Just relax, and if there's anything you don't want me to see imagine a door and close it. I won't peek."

"Promise?" she asked cheekily and stuck out her tongue.

"I promise," he responded seriously. She laughed softly and then closed her eyes as he removed his hands from his pockets and raised them to place them on her temples gently.

The Doctor began searching through her mind slowly, trying to find his way to wherever it was that her dream was stored. Rose stiffened slightly at first, but relaxed almost instantly when she recognized the familiar presence of the Doctor. It surprised her just how comfortable she was with him being inside her head, she knew it shouldn't seem that normal, but somehow it did. It just felt right. She relaxed and focused on him. She noticed a strange sensation spreading from the bottom of her spine until it reached the very back of her head. It wasn't uncomfortable, just interesting, and barely noticeable above the even stranger sensation of the Doctor inside her mind.

With her eyes closed she focused all her attention on it. It felt like tiny little tendrils spreading out through and across her from where his hands met her temples, at first. And then she would feel one in particular become defined and suddenly she would be reliving a memory she never even knew she had. And always, the Doctor was there. Not in the sense that she could see or hear him, but she just knew he was there. She gasped slightly several times, but no words were spoken between them, there was no need.

The Doctor found what he was looking for and quickly began creating a barrier around that part of her mind, sealing it away for good. Once that was done, he put her to sleep, but just as he was about to drop his hands away to catch her when her body went limp, he squinted at something he felt in her head. It was bright and vicious and it startled him by doing something that felt suspiciously like it was trying to fight him off. He opened his eyes in surprise and fear and caught Rose just in time.

He carried her to her room and laid her gently on her bed. He would have smiled at seeing her look so peaceful in her sleep for the first time in a week but he was too busy worrying about what he had just felt in her head. He pulled up a chair and sat next to her bed. He stayed there the whole night, keeping a watchful eye on her as she slept, his mind racing fiercely with thoughts of Bad Wolf.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** This is the second to last chapter. The last time the Doctor was there for Rose after a nightmare. So enjoy the fluffyness, because the next and final chapter is straight up angsty. This takes place after Fear Her and during another scene that would be spoilers if I told you about it so you'll just have to read it and see if you can figure it out for yourselves :). By the way, did anyone catch the reference to Love and Monsters in the last chapter? Cyber cookies to anyone who did :) Enjoy the last fluffy chapter! And as always, please let me know what you think.

Chapter 5

The last time Rose had a bad dream on-board the TARDIS, it was unexpected.

She awoke with a sharp gasp and later marveled at how normal it was compared to all her other dreams on the TARIDS. But it still shook her up. Nightmares are things that live in the moment, so it doesn't really matter that you've had worse, because just then, in that moment, that one is your worst. She vaguely wondered if she was going to have a nightmare every time something happened to the Doctor from now on. That wouldn't be very convenient, seeing as he got into trouble on a daily basis. She hadn't had a nightmare in a while, though. Ever since the Doctor had fixed her nightmares from Krop Tor she had been blissfully free of bad dreams of any sort. But apparently the fright of losing the Doctor again had been enough to bring one back.

As soon as she had shaken herself free of the leftover dream haze she climbed out of bed and got dressed. She was still tired, but she needed to see the Doctor. Without her even realizing it he had become an inseparable companion to her bad dreams. Whenever there was a nightmare, there was the Doctor to chase it away and make it better again. And this time was no different. By the time she got to the console room she was barely trembling. The Doctor noticed it right away though.

"Hey," she said as she came shuffling in, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Hey!" he looked up from where he was fiddling enthusiastically but his face turned worried as soon as he laid eyes on her. "What's wrong?" he stood up quickly and walked over to her.

"I had a nightmare," Rose said quietly but with no hesitation or shyness. Her arms wrapped themselves tighter across her chest unconsciously. The Doctor's reaction was immediate. He closed the gap between them with a few steps and pulled Rose into himself by her shoulders. Rose untangled her arms from her midsection and wrapped them around him instantly. The effect was just as swift. Rose took a deep breath as she readjusted her head to rest just below his chin and relished the feel of his arms tight against her back. Her shaking melted away into the heat emanating from his embrace. There wasn't a safer place in her whole world than right there, right then, surrounded by her Doctor's arms.

"It wasn't the uh… the really bad one, was it?" An edge of worry tinted his voice, arms readjusted to support her better.

"No," Rose replied quickly. Then unwrapped her arms and leaned back to look him in the eye. "That one's all gone. I can't even remember it, thanks to you I suspect." She smiled, her worries and fears forgotten.

"Are you alright?" he said as he gazed down at her.

She nodded. "I am now," she replied with a smile. She inhaled deeply through her nose and sat down on the console chair. The Doctor followed, sitting down next to her. He put his arm around her. Rose tucked her legs up under herself and leaned into the crook between his arm and chest, content to just enjoy his presence in silence. It was all she needed to banish the evils of the dream.

"What was it about?" the Doctor asked after a few minutes. Rose thought that the question should have seemed strange, since he had never asked her directly about her dreams before, but it didn't. They were too familiar with each other for anything to seem strange at this point. So she answered him truthfully.

"You," she paused to take a deep breath as the Doctor looked down at her head on his chest. A frown spread over his face and he began rubbing circles on her arm with his thumb. "I dreamed that you were still trapped in that Isolus drawing and I couldn't get you out," she gestured lazily as she spoke. "Then that scary nightmare dad of Chloe's started to burn the house down with you inside it and there was nothing I could do. I woke up right as the fire was about to burn you up." She still remembered how scared she had been, but she could feel the Doctor rubbing her arm and she could hear his hearts beating beneath her head, and the dream held no power over her at all. She told him about it in a matter of fact way, with no tremble or tremor making its way into her voice.

A strand of her hair fell down into her eyes and she leaned off of the Doctor with another relaxed breath to brush it away from her face and tuck it back behind her ear. The Doctor unwound his arms from around her back as she wrapped her own arms around her legs and tilted her head on her knees to look at him. She smiled and he smiled back, just enjoying gazing at her face.

"OOh!" he suddenly burst out and dashed over to the other side of the console. "I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!" Rose giggled and popped up onto her feet as he started dashing around in circles.

"What is this brilliant beyond brilliant idea?" she teased in a sarcastic tone. "I hope it doesn't involve getting into trouble because I still need to finish my sleep cycle. I didn't like how it went last time I skipped my sleep." A playful and excite smile lit up her face. The Doctor loved that he could make her smile like that and he gave her a goofy smile of his own in return as he pulled down a lever dramatically.

"Rose Tyler! Now when have I ever done such a thing!?" he pretended to be offended then his face split into a manic grin again. "NAH! This is much better than running around and getting into trouble."

"Oh? Well, what is it then?" her tongue pocked out between her teeth, just as they felt the familiar jolt of the TARDIS landing.

"See for yourself," he grinned at her and gestured towards the doors. Rose grinned back and walked over to the doors, she was still too tired to put her energy into skipping but her excitement bled through just as strongly. The Doctor joined her at the doors and put a hand on the latch with a soft smile. Rose linked her arm in his and looked up at him expectantly.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Always," she replied and with one last grin the Doctor opened the doors with a flourish and they both stepped out together.

Rose looked away from the Doctor to take in the new scene around her. When she did, she couldn't help the soft gasp that escaped her. They had landed on a round strip of rocky land surrounded on two sides by rocky cliffs. But the rocks had a smooth look to them. Behind them was an arch formed by the same rocks but the view towards the front was what took her breath away. Countless arches and other rock formations spread out into the distance, surrounded at their base by dark waters. The solitary sun was setting behind them and flying through the air around them were some kind of creatures that looked like sting rays. They were gliding through the air with the same grace as if they were floating through water.

She stepped out of the TARDIS and her arm fell out of the Doctor's as she walked farther out to get a full view of the sunrise displayed in front of her eyes. She couldn't look away. The Doctor on the other hand couldn't look away from her, absorbing the scene through her eyes. He stepped out behind her and then stood by her side, hands in his pockets as he finally tore his gaze away from her face and looked out across the view.

Everything about the moment was so peaceful and perfect. They didn't hold hands, but they didn't need to. Rose laughed softly and began swaying contently from side to side, biting on her lip unconsciously. The Doctor was suddenly struck with just _how_ perfect the moment was. He looked over to Rose and asked,

"How long are you going to stay with me?" Rose looked over at him when he spoke and there wasn't a single trace of hesitation as she responded immediately,

"Forever." They smiled at each other and went back to watching the sunrise. It didn't matter that they both knew that her promise was impossible, because in that moment, they both believed it was true.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** So here goes. The final chapter. You have probably guessed by now, but this takes place after Doomsday. For those of you who like this sort of thing: I wrote the first half of this chapter with the song Toxic by District 78 on repeat, so I suggest listening to it as you read. But I know every time I read something like that in an author's note I always think: Oh, cool... nah! So feel free to just delve into the angst! Enjoy! And drop me a line to let me know what you thought of the finished product.

Chapter 6

Colors swirled around indescribably, and floated amidst sounds and movements. Everything was distorted just slightly, but just enough to make the world wrong in a scary way. She felt her heart thump as the beat that drove the twisting swirl. Every breath she drew in brought a light closer and closer. It felt like she was breathing in a toxin that caused the world to shift around her and move under her feet so that she was closer to the light. The light that kept growing. She started fighting it, disgusted at the feeling of breathing in movement and everything around her that was wrong.

The world melted. Her movement pulled some invisible string that broke the barrier between her and the vortex around her. Her body got thrown in all directions, swirling along with everything else. It was melted apart and mixed into the churn and the toxin continued to pour into her and became a part of her. She choked on her breaths but she couldn't stop inhaling. It felt like breathing in water. But it was much thicker and so very wrong. Her fear made her heart speed up and the world sped up along with it. The whirl got faster and faster until it was out of control along with her heart which felt like it would burst. Every breath that she took, she inhaled more of the world around her and she panicked a little more and her heart sped up a little more until it was all completely out of control. She wound around herself and she could see and feel herself being spread around and twisted into a stream that blended into the world around her like the stroke of a brush blending into the bigger picture.

Then suddenly, it ended. In one heartbeat she was thrust back into her normal form and the world righted itself around her. The sudden stillness was dizzying and she closed her eyes until she felt the last of the sickening toxin melt away, gunk being sucked down an invisible drain. She opened her eyes and reeled. The instant she did, all her senses felt like they had been pierced by a knife. Along with that came the instant realization of where she was.

Bad Wolf Bay.

She gasped, but nothing came out. She tried to turn around but instead found her legs moving towards a figure that appeared in the distance and she recognized it instantly as him. _This can't be happening._ She wanted to run away, to turn around and flee with all her might. But she kept moving towards him. Steadily being carried against her will to her doom. Then his face came into focus and a tear that didn't come out rolled down her cheek.

There he was. Standing there, looking at her. Everything was as clear as if it was happening for the first time, but her senses were magnified to an incredible degree. Every line on his face was so defined it hurt her eyes. Every wave that crashed on the shore sounded as loud as a car crash. And everything was sharp, so sharp that it hurt. Every thundering heartbeat preserved in her mind to the most excruciating detail and replaying in front of her eyes. She watched and couldn't control her own mouth or body. The scene developed out in front of her like an atrocious play that she was a part of but couldn't control or change.

"You look like a ghost," her voice said.

"Hold on," he replied and then came into focus. Everything was happening exactly the same. Her body took a few steps forward and she noticed that they were completely alone. Her mum and dad and Mickey were nowhere to be seen, and there was no wind. It was eerily still. The stillness only added to the piercing clarity of every moment.

"Can I t-" her hand reached up to touch him and Rose cried out in an effort to make it move forward just an inch more, to touch him even though she knew she couldn't. It stopped even as he replied sadly,

"I'm still just an image. No touch." Her hand fell away. The conversation carried on and Rose felt herself crumbling as she realized what was going to happen. And the fear that had been in her chest gave way to complete sorrow and denial. She whimpered in denial over and over again even as the scene played on and on, not stopping or slowing down. Moving steadily towards its inevitable end, but she fought with all her strength and determination.

"How long have we got?"

"About two minutes."

"I can't think of what to say," her body smiled bitterly, but Rose was crying and screaming at herself to say it before it was too late. Just say it so that she could hear his response. One simple request. It wasn't much to ask. She just wanted to hear him finish his farewell. _Please._

"There's five of us now. Mum, Dad, Mickey… and the baby."

"You're not?" The look on his face broke her heart all over again. As her body laughed and explained, she felt her stomach fall to her feet, along with her lungs.

"And what about you? Are you…?" Rose chocked on a sob. Her past self rambled away about Torchwood, but Rose melted as she read in his look the true question behind that statement for the first time. She wanted desperately to reach out and cradle his face with her hand, but no matter what she did she couldn't change anything. Before she could stop herself she whispered sadly "Never. There could never be anyone besides you," but her lips didn't move. She would have given anything for him to be able to hear her.

And still the scene played on.

She crumbled all over again as he beamed about her defending the Earth. The unspoken words that passed between them as soon as his words were uttered reverberated around harshly in the scene. So obvious in the surreal clarity of it all that they might as well have been spoken aloud.

" _But it's not right. Not without you_."

She felt herself breaking. Rose's attempts not to cry crumbled as she felt herself facing the same thing and choked out,

"Am I ever going to see you again?"

"You can't." Her world crumbled.

"What are you gonna do?"

"Aw, I've still got the TARDIS. Same old life, last of the Time Lords."

"On your own?"

He nodded. Her heart broke.

"I l-" She screamed, but her body choked. "I love you." She knew what was coming and her panic grew. She fought hard. She had to change it. She had to do something. She could not relive this moment. She had already been forced to live it once. _No._

"Quite right too." She couldn't go through it again. Not again. _No. No, no, no. NO. NO!_

"And I suppose…" _Please NO!_ "If it's my last chance to say it.." _PLEASE!_ "Rose Tyler,"

"NOOO!" She burst through and clutched air just as his image disappeared. She collapsed down onto the ground, reaching in vain towards where he had been just a moment before. She cried. And in between her sobs she repeated her pleas and denials.

But this time, there was no one there to hold her. Her mum's arms weren't there to hold her. Her dad's arms weren't there to support her, and there was no one there to carry her home. And above all, the Doctor wasn't there to chase away this horrible nightmare.

She was kneeling on a beach that had suddenly lost all definition, completely alone.

The first time Rose woke up from a bad dream after Bad Wolf Bay, there was no one there, no one at all.


End file.
